Life update in early 2026

2 Feb 2026
song: Say it ain't so - toe

The last thing I've written on this place was on July 2025. Fuck, it has been a while. A lot of things happened that prevented me from writing here. Majority of them are good things, met a lot of cool people, went to places, started a band(more on that later) and so on. Life goes on as one would say.

As of me writing this I'm in my 4th semester of engineering. Writing it down feels a bit surreal, to be honest. I'm just done with my first internal examination of the semester as of now. Engineering has made me realise a lot of things; first and foremost is how much I despise it. Now don't get me wrong, the whole thing is cool as fuck, people make amazing things and it's so cool to see them give life to their ideas. It's just that to fully commit to it requires a degree of focus and commitment that I don't really have it in me to give. Not for this, at least.

Then there are the people; I don't even know where to begin. I feel like it's only now that I'm starting to find my kind of people. The passionate kind. It feels great to have someone whom you can talk to when you find something really cool or when you find yourself in trouble (special mention to Rishit, Sreedeep and Anand). I feel at home with these guys, I can exist at peace.

Then there is the band, its me and Zishan and we call ourselves [THE IN-BETWEENS]. It all started on a regular evening on October 16th. Sreedeep left his electric guitar in my room. So at night somehow when I strung together 4 chords and he just jammed to it, we knew this was the start of something. We currently have a fuck ton of unfinished songs we need to work on, which is kind of hard with all the fuckery engineering throws at us. That being said, I do have my eternal gratitude for Anandu for being my roommate and not going fucking ballistic at us for fucking around on the guitar 24/7. Also I do have to mention the fact that this fucker is probably the greatest roommate I could ever ask for. It is a miracle how everything about us is in the opposite ends of the spectrum but somehow we get along so well.

Finally getting to my personal life, I can't really tell what is going on. Mentally I seem to be doing better, I have strangely found my own rhythm of existing. I have restarted the habit of reading books, but I also started using instagram so I suppose that cancels out. I find myself sitting still more often. I have started this habit of just listening to an album and doing nothing. Sometimes I fall asleep, though, but other times it's kind of cool. It's hard to concentrate on the album throughout, as the mind takes you on a journey sometimes. That being said, it's so cool when you notice the little details, and the rest of the time it's just you freaking out at the idea that 'how can people create things this beautiful?' . Then there are obviously the rather misguided attempts at romance that I don't really want to get into now. So now the question remains, 'What will I do now?' .

Well, there are a couple of things I want to do. To start with the abstract ones, I want to be a bit more comfortable in my own skin. I feel the need to find myself on a deeper level, if that makes sense. Then I obviously want to make great music, read a lot of books while keeping all the academic things stable. Live life, I suppose. The future surely has its uncertainties, but I'm not really scared of it. I think it's because the thought rarely enters my mind these days. There are a couple more of things that I wish to talk about, but I'll end this on a positive note. See you later.

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