Writing
I've been meaning to write something new here for a while, and honestly, nothing really came up. A while back, I couldn't usually write stuff because there wasn't anything happening in my life, but now I don't really think that is the case. I'm busy with college and the communities I'm involved in. Sometimes I feel like I haven't really changed at all. Take this website for example. The main overarching theme I have kind of going on here is my sense of isolation. That never really changed, and I don't think it will anytime soon at this point. I feel every person that exists has this single dilemma, this kryptonite of sorts that acts as this paintbrush for life. No matter what kind of situation you find yourself in, the lens in which you view the world will always have that shade of your kryptonite in it.I love writing, but compared to other aspects of life, I think it is the one I struggle with the most. I want to be able to sit down for half an hour every day with a cup of tea and write for a bit. So far, I've been failing miserably in that aspect. I'll try my best to make an honest effort to bring some sort of discipline to my life, especially in the writing aspect. I really want to. I started writing this novel, but after a while, I got too scared to write. I know it's stupid, and I should write stuff even if it's bad, and I do realize that I can scrap it later if it's really shit, but still, the idea of taking the pen or opening Obsidian seems scary. Then there is this website itself. Nobody is going to read this, not even friends or family. Not because they don't like me or anything, but it's too long, and truth be told, no one gives a shit. Does it make me a bit sad? Yes, but I don't really mind at this point.
I've been wondering recently, why the fuck am I still working on this website? What is my motivation to keep coming back to it? I really don't know, to be honest. Then I realized that it doesn't matter in the first place. I'm enjoying it even though it's tedious work a lot of the times.
Thank you for reading.
(22-07-25)